What a day today was! I confessed to my trainer and doctor that I ate 4 donuts yesterday in reponse to the possible tax increase. Having just bought my home last March, and still having student loans…the paycheck gets used very quickly. The state of IL now wants to take an addtional money out of my paycheck. They are increasing the income tax rate by 66%. WHOA! For those that don’t live in this state…be grateful.
This topic of discussion then turned to figuring out what our sessions are going to look like after Jan. 31st (when my initial 12 sessions end). I explained to them that I personally don’t have the funds to keep going and that the only way that I could possible continue is if dad were to help out. Dad and I had a conversation on Monday, and it didn’t seem as though he would be up for funding the next round. We discussed why he might have said what he did. He didn’t end up getting ill or hurt, but I didn’t think he was expecting to cough up more money. Fastforward to this evening. I always call him on my way home from working out with Dr. B and Mike. I feel like its important to share my progress with him. So we were talking and the topic of my sessions came up, and the conversation we had on Monday was the way it was because he was hoping to have me go through Feburary alone to see if I could make it (I personally don’t think I could, it would be very difficult for me to stay on the wagon.) So I think we are going to coninute working.
What chokes me up is that, for a man who’s not been very endearing through my childhood and into my early adulthood, my father has come around or maybe I’ve come around to realize that he’s one of the best people EVER. I know that hes always wanted the best for me, but when he says how proud he is of me for deciding to take on this journey I can’t help but sob. He understands that food can be an addiction just as smoking or alcohol is. I think after telling him my donut story from yesterday, he realizes that there are certain triggers that can set a food addict back into bad habits. While I didn’t binge today and got myself back on track rather quickly, the temptation was great to just eat all the crap that I could. My way of thinking has changed, and my decision to discuss this incident with Mike and Dr. B has shown progress. Prior to working with them, I probably would have continued my binge through the weekend and wouldn’t have told anyone about it.
I am eternally grateful for these three people that have been in my life. Thanks to them I have been learning who I am, and who I want to be again. Thank you dad, Dr. B and Mike. 🙂
The Phoenix Journey 